....

no dramatic post this time
I haven't got it all figured out after all
today I wasn't feeling too great
was praying when God broke through
"I care about you and what you struggle with" he said
"to me you are not just one person out of 5,000,000,000 (thats the population of the world I think)"
how could I have ever doubted it?
Awesome that the God who marked out the heavens with the breadth of his hands would care about the everyday thoughts of a 20 something girl in one of the thousands of cities on that small lil sphere called earth.

from another angle...

yesterday I went to the gym, and 2 of the personal trainers chatted with me (one guy and one girl - I'll call them P & P), trying to get me to join these training programs. They told me what I was doing wrong, how I could improve, etc.

A thought struck me as I was on the MTR. Normally, people tend to judge another person by his appearance. I would have expected P & P to be the same or even worse, since they are in the industry. But my expectations were wrong. They said matter-of-factly, you could improve this if you do this, you need to work on this. I guess its because they know that a person's appearance is only a matter of getting the right training - it is easy to do, and it does not change the person inside.

I guess thats the way God is too. Appearance or wealth don't matter to him, cause he knows that those things don't change the person that we are inside. He can just send down a thunderbolt and change the things I don't like about myself (like P & P who sketched out a 6 month plan to a perfect Jane). But he couldn't force me to put my hope in him, he couldn't force me to be kind to someone in need. These are the things that we can freely choose to do or not to do.

Grateful...

I luv this group! After coming back to Hong Kong I've been catching up with these guys, one by one. And each one has something amazing to share. Through the way they live, they encouraged me this week to live life for an audience of One (Jesus) and to be more deliberate about it. Dunno how to say it, but I'm so grateful for you guys. you keep me in check and you inspire me. ok I'm getting mushy here. better stop.
back to studying!